Oh holy and most mighty Voice of the Prophet
The exalted flock of your followers has found the infidel dogs in the desert and picked their bones clean.
They came to defile the holy water of the Prophet (“pissing in the wells”) and learned the folly of their overweening pride – they came not within rifle shot of them. The shining Pate of the Prophet leaped forward with his Rub to savage their left flank, turning back their horse soldiers to cower in the back lines with the slaves, women and water carriers. The holy beard of Barb also attacked with his Rub and the horse soldiers cowered from his hairiness. Mighty K’pax, normally so peace-loving, was roused by their haughtiness to defy these so-called Queenie soldiers and his riflemen took a heavy toll. My own warriors thrust deep into the heart of their army before they realised how foolish they were to defy us and turned away from the wrath of Allah.
By the way, holy brother, have you found a way to stop the annoying Sudanese running forwards and backwards all day, led by the Horny One – it is most distracting…can we offer him some women?
Your follower in Allah